I heard his footsteps coming toward me after the boy was long gone. I was suddenly so angry - I couldn't believe he had the nerve to come over now! He looked taken aback when I stood to face him.

"What the fuck was that?" I was bloody furious with him.

"He could've at least handed it to you."

//Damn you. Damn you both.// "No. I get *that* all the time. What the fuck were *you* doing?"

Daniel fidgeted but said nothing.

//Tell me why you just stood there and watched.//

All of the questions that had run through my head the past seven days flared up in my eyes. I wanted answers.

"Fuck, Daniel, I thought you understood. Do you know how fucking humiliating that is? It's bad enough when there's no one around to see it, but you..." I slammed my fist against the wall, needing the physical pain to focus myself. "Shit!"

He stepped closer and finally saw what had pissed me off so bad about the kid. He realized that it hadn't been an accident. I paced about like a caged tiger, nervous energy my only way to keep the tears at bay. He tried to pull me into his arms.

//Don't touch me. You can't touch me or I'll fall apart...//

I struggled against him. This was too much, he felt too good, and I didn't want him to let go. That's why he had to. If I let my guard down, he would see himself in my heart.

His embrace held tight, though, and I finally had to stop fighting. I felt safe again, nestled against his chest and feeling his pulse beneath my hands. He was warm, smelling of Dolce & Gabbana, and I knew that my determination was cracking. Even just hearing Dan's heartbeat so close to mine was wreaking havok on my resolve.

//Damn you, you just couldn't leave when I needed you to. Thank you.//

"I'm sorry."

He kept whispering it over and over, holding me against him, and I cried. I almost never used to cry before I met him. I wonder what changed? The tears ran out sooner than I would have thought, so I slipped my arms around Daniel.

His breath ruffled my hair a little when he spoke again. "Come back to my hotel with me. We don't have to do anything. I just don't want you on the streets tonight." He put his hand on my face and made me look at him. "Please."

One more token struggle. I couldn't let him know just how much I wanted to go with him. Not yet.

"Why are you doing this? I'm not worth this. I'm damaged goods."

"No." He sounded so fierce. "No, you're not. You're so much more than what they think of you. Come with me tonight."

The iciness around my heart melted away like snow in the spring, heated by the look in his eyes. I could almost believe that maybe this meant things were going to work out.

I had the most wonderful idea, then.

"Okay, but it'll cost ya."

 
Part 9: All Around Me
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