At Some Point

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Chapter 1

Darren couldn't get the melody out of his head. He couldn't shake the feeling attached to it. And he couldn't stop staring at Daniel.

It's not like he was doing anything special, really. Just sprawling somewhat like a lazy cat would, his long, sometimes awkward limbs arranged in a relaxed manner that exuded a sense of calm. An intense calm, if that made any sense at all.

As he scribbled on one of the various partially crumpled pages spread out all over the single bed, a fringe of his wavy dark blond hair crept down hesitantly to cover one eye. He puffed a breath of air up at it, but it persistently remained. Then he smiled. And stopped Darren from humming the melody out loud.

Which was a good thing, because if he had, Daniel would have been all over it in a heartbeat. This was their game, their competition. One might say, the source of their need for perfection.

But as to the smile...well one really had to see it to understand. It was a secret locked in a smile. It was exhilaration in an image. It radiated knowledge and pure satisfaction in one...

In one what? Another abandoned thought, but with good reason. Daniel was eyeing him with that same feeling of a secret untold, but mingled now with mirth and an almost challenging curiosity.

He yawned suddenly, and stretched, his lanky body quivering slightly with the sudden movement. “There’s a camera in the top draw of the desk, you know,” Daniel commented casually, his deep voice echoing strangely in the small room.

Darren gave him a blank look for a moment, before catching the flash of teasing humour in the reflective glint of his eyes. Of course. Because Daniel would never utter a proper cliché, he would only hint at it.

“I’m going to go change the light bulb in the toilet,” Darren found himself abruptly changing the subject without his usual returning banter. He pulled himself to his feet from his respite on – well, rather in – the ever-sinking cushions of the loveseat. Everything in this room had been crammed in, despite the ridiculous lack of space for it. He ignored Daniel’s slightly quizzical look, and waited for the usual careless apathy to cross the attractive face. Then he departed for his journey of 6 feet to the washroom door.

The bulb was incessantly flickering as it had been for the last month. It was Daniel’s turn to change it, really, since he had the bedroom this month, but he couldn’t be bothered to and that was just fine with Darren. Because it gave him an excuse to try and use the flickering light in an effort to hypnotize himself into hopefully getting a grip on his changeling disposition.

The problem was Darren’s interminable sense of hope, as usual. His dreams, when stated, invariably began or ended with ‘at some point.’ As in, “We won’t be living together forever, we’ll have our own houses at some point!” and “at some point, we’ll be rock stars, you have to prepare yourself for the limelight.” Or even more unlikely, things he said to himself as he fell asleep every night, like “at some point, you’ll love me too.”

Pulling the step stool over, he flicked the light switch off and climbed up. Staring for a moment longer at the electric sparks still shooting strangely through the bulb, Darren raised an arm up and, in retrospect, he would say that his limbs had felt quite sluggish, and his vision had blurred dizzily. But just as he touched the still-warm glass, he felt a blackness swirl around him, stealing his sight. It muffled all sound save an odd whisper as if someone, somewhere, had breathed a sigh of relief, or perhaps of sorrow.

Upon waking, he was still not able to describe the feeling, for it had not quite been swooning nor quite the peak of pleasure nor even of death. He’d experienced the first two in the past and it was unlike either. And he knew it was not the pull of death, for the simple fact that he had indeed woken from it. Still, the feeling became quickly inconsequential as he realized that the light that shone above him was very functional.

Had he changed the bulb in his unconscious state? Darren smirked at the thought then slowly rose to his feet. That was when he realized he was no longer in that one-bedroom apartment he shared with Daniel.

~*~*~*~*~

Daniel loved the smell of the bar-b as it sizzled with heat and succulent juices. The smoky odour filled his yard and he was contented to watch his dogs run amok and play fight with one another. Behind him, he heard Kathleen laughing and mock-scolding one of them as the pup tried to chew at the hem of her summer dress. Life had settled down a lot for him, and to be perfectly frank, he didn’t think he could be any happier.

A twinge in the back of his mind attempted to remind him of something, but he almost unconsciously pushed the thought away. After all, there was no point in reminiscing or regretting. There was never any point to that. He tried to focus on Kathleen’s incessant chatter instead, but sometimes he considered wryly if she ever had a complete train of thought.

Slightly relieved (and then subsequently ashamed) that her never-ending story about one of her vapid friends was cut off by the ring of his sweetheart’s mobile phone, he gave her a questioning look when the smile rather abruptly faded from her face. Her delicate, sun-flushed features took on a frowning look of consternation followed by a resigned unhappiness.

She clicked off the tiny phone and sighed, “Well, it looks like the flights for Melbourne are all booked for tomorrow, so they had to get me one for tonight instead.” Another last minute change in plans due to one of their hectic careers in the entertainment industry. But it wasn’t as if he didn’t understand. He pulled her into his warm embrace, and sighed as well. There would always be other days, after all.

But again that little twinge reminded him (successfully this time) that more and more their careers seemed hell-bent on pushing distance between them, both physically and emotionally. But really, that wasn’t a big problem…all he wanted was just a little peace and a comfortable happiness. It wasn’t in his nature to want the grand passion, the intense and risky roller-coaster relationship. He’d had that after all and could honestly say ‘no, thank you’.

He squashed the twinge this time before it even had time to form and then busied himself with calling a taxi for Kathleen and cleaning up, as she retrieved her suitcases from their bedroom.

~*~*~*~*~

Darren brushed the silken strands of inky black hair from his eyes, as he stared with disbelief at the room he stood in. What should have been the slightly dingy, disorganized array of Daniel’s furniture was instead a sunny, very feminine matching set of bed and vanity. The room was slightly larger than before, a little curved skylight area accounting for the extra space. He absolutely hated the ambiance of the room. It felt smothering and quite facile. It no longer held that integrity, that stark intensity…

He had the good sense to hide in the wood-framed closet when he heard voices approaching (although, that was another thing which brought a scowl to his face as he remembered the sliding metal frames that should have been there). He couldn’t make out what was said, but he heard the unmistakable sound of the main door to the apartment closing as the owners of the voices exited. Thankful that he didn’t yet have to deal with people, particularly since he had no idea where he was, what had happened, or why things had changed so much.

At this point, the shock started to wear off, and a sense of confused panic hovered in his mind. Attempting to get a grip (ah yes, the source of this whole incident), Darren’s mouth flattened into a determined line and surreptitiously made his way out of the closet, the bedroom and indeed the apartment. His slender, fragile-looking frame shook ever so slightly with nerves, as his eyes flitted about warily in search of anyone that could confront his presence.

Thankfully, he made it outside without difficulty. He looked around at the many individuals strolling, striding and in general going about their business, and wondered if perhaps he’d simply been hallucinating. But then upon closer inspection he saw nuances that made him think perhaps he was still hallucinating. Small things; like slight changes in fashion; the different models of passing cars. And big things like the date on the newspapers at a nearby coin-operated, newsstand.

October 5, 2002. October 5, 2002. Darren frowned, because he’d been sure just a half hour ago it had been October 5, 1995. Surely, then, this must be a dream. He felt relieved at the obvious realization and decided perhaps he would go with this dream, as far as it would take him. All sense of panic chased away, he wandered down the street and contemplated what he should do next.

He stopped abruptly, much to the annoyance of individuals behind him on the busy street. But of course! With glee, his mind raced with ways to achieve his newfound goal. To find himself! 7 years older, but what a shocker it would be! Then the tiny voice of reason (or paranoia or self-doubt, whichever he preferred to call it) stepped in and suggested that if this dream was anything like Back To The Future, he shouldn’t try to meet his future self in case the shock killed one or both of them.

He frowned again, forgetting of course that he had decided this was a dream (and so it wouldn’t matter if he or his older self were to die in it). Besides, how would he find himself, he could be anywhere! Contemplating despite the curses of passing pedestrians, Darren was instead struck with an even more obvious internal yen. Daniel. He nearly giggled with glee at the idea of seeing Daniel’s future self. He wondered if age had been kind to his band mate’s lovely features. And he resolved not to think too much upon it in case it resulted in the frustration of the dream being broken much too early.

Fishing out his wallet from the back pocket of his tight black jeans, Darren took inventory and realized he had $20 to his name. And he didn’t even know where Daniel was. With his luck, the guitarist was now living in the States upon becoming a mega-star. Giggling out loud this time at the thought, Darren instead made his way to a convenience store in search of phone cards. Daniel’s parents wouldn’t have moved, he would bet.

~*~*~*~*~

After a more rushed dinner than he would have preferred, Daniel lay stretched out on the soft beaten leather of his favourite couch, Kathleen’s small waif-like form cradled to him. They didn’t speak, nor did they do anything more than simply hold one another. It was something they liked to do, just absorb each other’s presence. Feeling an overwhelming affection, he gently kissed her forehead and smiled as she stirred. Then winced when she accidentally elbowed him in the rib.

“I wish I didn’t have to go,” blithely unaware, her voice came across slightly petulant with regret and a thread of unhappiness, though she couldn’t resist his sunshine without returning some of her own.

“I know” was his only reply, though it spoke volumes about love and a cynical yet casual acceptance of life’s twists. His arms tightened about her and pulled her closer. And his…well their cocoon shattered as the phone rang again, only this time with the shrill pitch of his house phone.

Barely shifting, Daniel reached over and lifted the receiver, then hung it up again immediately. Now was not the time, was his thought as his mouth brushed against Kathleen’s in an attempt to overpower the strange foreboding he felt.

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