A Loving Lust
chapters 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Chapter 5
Daniel was glad that he’d had those beers, it was helping him a lot in reacting so casually. He started loading the dishwasher and nearly dropped a dish when Darren spoke from just behind him.“Yeah, I’m feeling better…but um…I wanted to speak to you about that…”
“Christ, Darren! Don’t do that!” Daniel gave him a wide-eyed look and shut the dishwasher door. He wiped his hands on a towel and gave Darren a mildly reproachful look as he headed past him back towards the living room.
“I’m sorry…” Darren trailed him, and waited as he plumped the living room pillows and pretty much did everything but stop and look at him. “Daniel…I really need to talk to you…what are you doing??”
Daniel finally stopped and turned slowly to look at him. His expression sincere but slightly apologetic, he replied in a deep calm voice, “Anything to stop from getting angry with you. Because I am…or at least I was. You caught me on a good night, I’ve already had quite a few to drink… Darren, you never even called once to let me know you were alive.”
Darren looked down at the floor and offered in a defeated tone, “I know. I’m sorry, I really am. Would you believe I forgot your phone number? And I was stupid and left the mobile here. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for you to…”
He trailed off the sentence. Daniel could see that he was trembling ever so slightly. Whatever it was that was going on with him, it was affecting Darren greatly. Feeling slightly guilty for being so harsh, he soundlessly walked over and pulled his band mate into a firm hug.
Darren stiffened at first, then relaxed as Daniel started murmuring into his ear, “It’s ok. I’m here, if you want to talk still.” Darren sighed as the sounds reverberated through him. He leaned against the guitarist’s chest, feeling comforted by his even breathing. His eyes drifted closed as the two of them stood there for a long moment, but just as they closed, his mind flashed him an image of Daniel and that ‘N’ bloke from the Gryffon standing together in quite a similar pose.
Pulling away abruptly, Darren turned away for a moment to will the images away. It was now or never. Taking a deep breath, he turned back around to face Daniel. He paused with slight enthrallment as he ran his eyes over Daniel’s blonde slightly mussed hair and his beautiful grey-green frost-coloured eyes. Eyes that held so much concern and affection. Darren knew if the younger man had been not as relaxed from the alcohol, things might have been a bit different. So he took his opportunity.
~*~*~*~*~ Hours later, the two of them were still up, lounging around in the den. It was about 3 am now, and Daniel had laughed and drank his way into a slightly more drunken stage. Darren had drunk a few as well and openly eyed him with love, for once letting his guard drop.
No, he hadn’t declared his undying love and passion for Daniel. But he had been given all the answers to the questions regarding that night in the club. He wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or relieved by the answers though. Another deep laugh from Daniel broke his reverie.
“I have to say it was interesting though! And Nikolai wasn’t a bad bloke, he was just a bit persistent!”
Darren understood Nikolai perfectly and wished he had the balls to be as forthright. Still, he was touched deeply by Daniel’s efforts. Although, he hadn’t come right out and said his purpose for going to that club that night, Darren remembered the guitarist’s abrupt reaction earlier that day. His heart melted at the thought that Daniel would care so much.
“Darren.”
The singer shook his head clear of cobwebs and looked at Daniel with mild curiosity at the serious tone he used, “Hmm?”
“You know…if I were thinking of…trying that sort of thing…”
Darren shifted, sitting up more in anticipation, his senses focused on Daniel’s next words.
“…I would tell you first…”
His hope deflated again, and Darren settled back into his comfy nook of the couch. He sighed and berated himself for being an over-optimistic idiot.
“Darren?”
Not even bothering to look up, Darren yawned and flipped the channel randomly on the T.V. “Yeah?”
“Do you…you know…well…do you find me…attractive?”
Darren dropped the remote by accident, the T.V. turning off as it landed on the wrong side and triggered the ‘off’ button. The silence made things much more tense, as he slowly sat up and turned to look at Daniel, who was still half sprawled out on his end of the couch.
“W-what?” It didn’t help that Daniel looked straight at him, his eyes wide and serious, his mouth twisted in a contemplative frown. His shirt lay half-unbuttoned and his pants were undone. It looked, for all the world, like he had been engaging in certain leisure activities, the thought of which made Darren’s jeans quite uncomfortable.
“You know…am I your type? I’m just asking…I won’t flip out or anything. I mean, we’re mates after all. It’s just well…I was thinking about that bloke at the airport. He kind of reminded me of me, the more I think about it.”
Darren’s frame was absolutely still in horrified shock that perhaps Daniel wasn’t as oblivious as he’d assumed. He barely choked out in response, his cheeks reddening with a slight flush, “Uh…I didn’t notice really…”
Daniel noticed his strange tone and looked over at him curiously, his own eyes widening as he realized that he’d embarrassed Darren. He grinned engagingly, and pulled himself up to a sitting position.
Then he leaned over Darren, who immediately leaned away until Daniel was bracing himself just over top of him. The singer pressed his body flat against the couch, unbelievably turned on by the mischievous look in Daniel’s eyes.
“So you don’t have a thing for me then? Well good, then you won’t mind if I kissed you…you know, just to see what it’s like…what’s a kiss between friends, after all…”
Darren’s eyes widened as he watched Daniel’s face float downward and closer to his, completely petrified and at the same time wanting it so badly. At the last second, Daniel stopped, pulled up a bit and looked down appraisingly at Darren’s face. He then burst out laughing.
~*~*~*~*~ “Darren, the look on your face!” Daniel’s deep signature laugh, which normally Darren adored, was extremely grating…most likely due to sexual frustration. He willed his heart rate to slow down and gulped air as he slowly pulled himself back into a safe, sitting position. He ignored Daniel entirely as he reached for his duffel bag.
“You looked like you thought I’d actually do it! Completely scared shitless!” Daniel seemed enamoured of his own hilarity, so Darren was less careful about pulling out the bag of his band mate’s favourite toffees than he normally would have been. Realizing with disappointment that it was the last one, he made a mental note to buy more as he unwrapped it and popped it into his mouth.
Enjoying the flavour, he missed the abrupt way Daniel stopped laughing at the sound of the wrapper crinkling. And he didn’t notice that Daniel’s eyes were suddenly burning into him. But he couldn’t have missed Daniel’s sudden lunge towards him.
With a tackle that partially knocked the wind out of him, Darren suddenly found himself on his back again, only this time Daniel was pinning him down properly. His fingers digging into Darren’s shoulders, the younger man straddled him and glared with a fierce intensity.
“What…are…you…eating?” Daniel’s voice was low with threat.
Oh shit. Darren sucked as silently on the toffee as possible, while he gently crumpled the wrapper into the palm of his hand and made a fist around it. He gave Daniel a wide-eyed, confused look.
“It’s just a lozenge, Daniel! Have you lost your mind?!”
Daniel’s face loomed closer to his, but this time Darren was more worried about his safety than anything. His friend scowled at him in disbelief for a moment, then with a challenging look, grabbed Darren’s wrist. He plied apart the fingers although Darren resisted valiantly, and with a sound of triumph, waved the wrapper in the older man’s face.
“Lozenges aren’t wrapped in Swiss Chocolate Toffee wrappers! Where are they! I knew you stole them! I’ve been looking everywhere for them!”
Darren tried to reason with Daniel, despite his sudden mood swing. “But Daniel, you could have just bought another bag—”
He stopped abruptly when Daniel violently flung the wrapper away and grabbed him by the neck of his ribbed shirt. His voice was low as he growled, “I didn’t have time. Give it to me.”
Darren could smell the slight scent of alcohol still lingering and mixing with Daniel’s natural sweet breath. Or at least it was sweet to him. Darren swore as he remembered where exactly Daniel was straddled, and willed himself to ignore his attraction for fear that Daniel would easily notice the certain condition that could arise.
In a timid voice, he pleaded with Daniel, feeling a bit ridiculous for doing so considering the lack of importance of the whole issue, “Daniel, chill out. I’m sorry, there’s none left!”
Daniel’s hold on Darren’s shirt tightened and he clenched his jaw. His green-grey eyes searched Darren’s blue ones and he realized that the other man was telling the truth. His gaze flickered down to the singer’s mouth where despite Darren’s attempts to be subtle about it, he could tell he was suckling on that exquisite toffee.
A random thought entered his mind. A way to get what he wanted and pay Darren back for stealing his toffees. Daniel smiled slowly, a predatory grin that would have made Nikolai proud. His expression held a certain reveling promise. Darren suddenly felt a bit apprehensive.
“That’s not quite true…there is one left…”
At Daniel’s chiding tone, Darren rolled his eyes and challenged with a bit of impatience, “What do you mean?? I looked in the bag, there wasn’t any le—”
Daniel’s mouth cut him off.
It took a few stunned seconds for Darren to realize what was happening. Time seemed to slow down. He stared up at Daniel’s eyes, which were still open, even as the guitarist’s lips and tongue ravaged his own. All he could see was a challenge within them. Infuriated, he tried to push Daniel away, but he was too strong.
Eventually, Daniel simply gripped both of Darren’s wrists and held them pressed down and together above the singer’s head. He used his free hand to tip Darren’s head back and support his neck as he delved deeply into his mouth. The prize was the toffee. May the best kisser win.
Darren’s senses clamored and he felt as if a thousand sensory shocks were going off on various parts of his body. He felt Daniel’s thighs tighten their hold on his hips as the toffee, which Darren had been hiding under his tongue, was dislodged. His abdomen muscles clenched when he heard Daniel moan in sheer enjoyment at the taste of the toffee.
The guitarist ran his tongue against it, pressing it to the roof of Darren’s mouth, completely oblivious to the moans the action incited from Darren. Then suddenly he gentled his kiss, and his tongue sensually stroked Darren’s. The ginger blonde man’s eyes fluttered shut at the switch in tactics, but not before he saw Daniel’s slowly shut as well. Now this was a kiss.
Finally, Darren kissed back. He felt Daniel still his movements in surprise, before recommencing slowly. He nipped gently at Darren’s bottom lip as a final retribution before landing a moist kiss on it and pulling away.
They both remained motionless, breathing with much difficulty. Both their gazes were completely unreadable as they simply stared at one another. Darren licked his swollen mouth, drawing Daniel’s eyes to it. Then Daniel suckled on the remnant piece of the toffee he’d extracted, causing Darren to lick his lips again.
Daniel commented in an offhand sort of way, his eyes still drawn to Darren’s well-kissed mouth, “I suppose…I could share it…” With that he leaned down swiftly and resumed the kiss. Darren made a mewling noise of mild protest, before sighing and relaxing.
They quite literally shared the toffee, their tongues stroking it (and each other) constantly. Finally when the last of the toffee dissolved, Daniel withdrew almost reluctantly. He gasped from lack of air and then started laughing slightly, leaning down to nuzzle Darren’s cheek with his own.
Before Darren could even move or say a word, the guitarist whispered cheekily in his ear, “You know, if I were gay…I think I would go for you. Thanks for the toffee, mate.” With that he let Darren go and climbed off of him. He stood up, and stretched his lithe, leanly muscled form.
“Christ, it’s 4 am! I’m off to bed…see you in the morning, Darren! We’ve got plenty of work to do.” With that cheerful and incredibly unfazed farewell, Daniel padded out of the den to let the dogs in, then sauntered off in search of his bed.
Darren lay there stunned, even as he watched Daniel leave. He was randomly reminded of a line from a movie that he once saw…. “I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.” He gave a breathless laugh, then reached up and touched his even further swollen mouth.
What the fuck just happened, and what the hell does it mean?!
~*~*~*~*~ Darren awoke the next day to the lapping of a dry tongue on his face. Opening his eyes, he glared at Quai, Daniel’s eldest dog. He picked up his watch and checked the time. 9:45 a.m.
“Do I look like kibble to you?” He muttered as he yawned and nudged the golden retriever off the bed. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and nearly stepped on Ariel. She gave him a hurt look and pranced out of the room with Quai following suit.
Grumbling, Darren stood up and stretched his muscles. In a swift move, he stripped off the shirt he’d slept in and wandered over to the dresser to unpack his clothes. He opened his closet door to hang some of it up and was startled by Jackson, who suddenly fell out of the closet with a yip. Darren snickered at the poor puppy’s bewildered expression.
“Serves you right for sleeping in there.”
He patted the dog affectionately, and was too distracted to notice the figure suddenly appear in his open doorway. He did however feel the hairs on his neck stand on end. Turning uncertainly, he looked up to see Daniel grinning down at him teasingly.
“Admit it, you love these dogs.” He leaned down and blindly scratched Ariel behind the ear as she weaved her body about his legs like a cat. Quai sat stoically next to the door as if challenging Darren to deny it.
Darren was unsure of what to say, and, in his discomfort, quickly pulled on a tight-ribbed deep blue shirt. He was trying not to just blatantly stare at Daniel’s mouth in remembrance of the previous night. Daniel didn’t seem to be as fazed, however.
“I was thinking, now that you’re back and the band’s all ready…maybe it might be a good idea to sing a bit with them. You know, test out how good you are together, see if you like what we’ve done,” Daniel went on in a distracted, offhand tone. Jackson had bounded over and was now playing tug of war with Daniel’s cargo pant leg.
“Uh…yeah…yeah, that sounds good,” Darren responded, running a hand through his mussed hair and looking around the room as if trying to find something. He didn’t understand how Daniel could be so calm under the circumstances. Unless…
Darren started. Unless he didn’t remember the previous night!
His eyes widening at the thought, the singer turned to look properly at Daniel, who was now laughing as all three of his dogs attempted to pull him down to the ground. Still laughing, the guitarist eventually managed to grab the two bigger dogs each under an arm.
He up nodded, his green eyes sparkling, and before Darren could work up the courage to say anything, he replied, “Great. I’ve already had brekkie. I’m just going to feed these little buggers and head off to the theater. You take your time, no worries alright?”
Before Darren really had a chance to do more than hesitantly nod, Daniel vanished from the doorway. Darren could hear his laughter once in a while as the dogs, in quite the playful mood, tried to get away from him.
Darren was a bit relieved, but also a bit perturbed. He’d have to ask Daniel about last night later.
Oh, who was he kidding! Darren laughed a bit, irony shining in his eyes. If he didn’t do it now, he’d never do it. His mind made up, he walked out of his room, and purposefully strode down the hall towards the kitchen.
Daniel was cleaning up some of the mess the dogs had made of the kibble. The aforementioned devils were mostly silent as they busily chowed down. He looked up with mild surprise and gave a half smile.
“How ya goin’?” he asked in a questioning tone.
Darren took a quick breath and meeting Daniel’s eyes frankly, he replied with a question of his own, “Daniel, do you remember what happened last night?”
The keyboardist blinked uncomprehendingly, and his tone was cautious but still light, “Yeah…you came back. I was angry. We talked. You thought I was gay and hiding it. I explained what happened. We drank enough to kill a horse—”
“You drank enough to kill a horse!” Darren interrupted, a small grin spreading across his face at Daniel’s typically male recounting of events.
Daniel wore his characteristic grin as he washed his hands and wiped them off on a hand towel. He shrugged and acquiesced, “Alright, I drank enough to kill a horse. Then I went to bed. What’s bothering ya, mate?”
“You forgot a detail, Danny. Something to do with the last of your favourite toffees and how we ended up sharing it.” Darren spoke in a tongue-in-cheek fashion, smiling wryly.
Daniel’s grin widened. He rubbed the back of his head in a sheepish manner, “Oh that. Yeah, so what about it? It seemed like a good way to get back at you.”
The singer’s brow shot up a notch, his expression extremely dubious. “You pinned me on the couch and rammed your tongue down my throat to get back at me?”
He was answered with a chuckle and a mock-outraged, “Hey! Are you saying I’m not a good kisser? Maybe we should have another go, when I’m not drunk out of my mind then, hmm?”
Darren’s head snapped up, and he replied in a laconic manner, “Daniel. Don’t fool around. I’m serious.”
He didn’t get a response right away, as Daniel, in quite an unhurried fashion, picked up a few of his papers that lay around the living room and began packing them into a leather folder.
“Daniel!”
The younger blonde man sighed and he finally looked Darren in the eyes and answered in a long-suffering but serious tone, “Darren, honestly. It was just a bit of fun. It seemed like a good way to get back at you at the time. To steal a line from Lee, I was drunk, not gay. And even if I were, I wouldn’t mess up our friendship like that.”
Darren gave Daniel a long searching look, before finally relaxing and grumbling in a mock-irritated way, “Well, I’m just wondering if that’s your main method of getting back at people…wait, what’s this about Lee??” He swallowed the disappointment that had come simultaneously with the relief.
Daniel just gave him a mysterious smirk, winked, and headed out the front door. Darren twisted his mouth in a smile, shook his head wryly, and went back to his room.
~*~*~*~*~ He was a guitarist. That was the simplest way to describe him. And yet you missed out on so much of the complexity of who he was, or rather who he appeared to be.
His shaggy mane of unnaturally dark red hair was at complete odds with his smooth but lightly tanned complexion. His eyes, exotic and a dark smoldering brown, betrayed very little of his emotions, as did his angular face.
His clothes were dark and tight in all the right places of his lean body, but they were also comfortably ragged. Once in a while, his deep voice would reverberate with his laughter, but his smile seemed to be rare.
He cradled his guitar like a lover, his face wrought with concentration. Suddenly he looked up.
“Darren! About time! Hang on and I’ll introduce you to everyone,” Daniel waved at him from the audience area of the theater. Darren shook his head to clear the reverie, and half-smiling headed down some steps to where Daniel stood.
“You remember Karl,” Daniel began, causing Darren to roll his eyes and wave his hand to indicate the younger man should continue. “Alright, alright, dumb question. Karl’s on drums as usual, Angi’s backing vocals and Lee’s bass, although he wants to sing, but if you give him a mic, I swear we’ll have to pull a Linda McCartney.”
Darren laughed and nodded at each of them. Lee made a face and, grabbing one of Karl’s drum sticks, he flung it playfully at Daniel’s head. The blonde man caught it deftly and tossed it back to Karl.
Angi Bekker was the very Greek looking Australian woman currently helping set up some of the microphones. She waved back at Darren and stuck her tongue out, making him laugh again. It hadn’t been that long since he’d seen her; she’d toured with him on his solo venture as had Lee.
“This is Marina Lark, she’ll be on keys and backing vocals as well,” Daniel gestured at the slim blonde girl who was currently fiddling with one of the keyboards on the stage. “She’s got a fantastic voice, you’ll love it!” The girl blushed and gave a sweet endearing smile intended for Daniel. Darren barely stopped from rolling his eyes again. Another conquest.
He glanced over at his band mate, who was oblivious as usual, and replied dryly, “Nice to meet you, Marina.” He noted with fascination how Daniel’s eyes were sparkling with nervous excitement. His face was slightly flushed with the pleasure of being able to show Darren the fruits of his labour and the try-outs. Darren’s expression grew touched as he realized how much his opinion meant to Daniel.
“And this is Hiroshi Nakano, Hiro for short. He’s our new lead guitar,” Daniel flourished his introduction for the redheaded Asian guitarist. Darren tried to play it casual as he smiled and nodded at the man. A boy really, he didn’t seem to be much older than 20.
The smile went slightly wobbly when the guitarist walked over to the edge of the stage and jumped down to land right in front of Darren. He gave a radiant smile and stuck his hand out faster than the singer could even blink.
“How ya goin, Darren? It’s an honour to meet you.” His voice was deep and slightly velvety. Darren felt like backing up to give himself more personal space, but he realized that would be a bit rude. Still, standing this close to the redhead gave him a fantastic look at his slanted, enigmatic eyes and his gently curving lips.
Unseen beside him, Daniel smirked and finally nudged his band mate in the ribs. Darren started and shook Hiro’s hand. Hiro’s smile widened and he gave Darren a firm handshake, before pushing his wild red hair back from his eyes.
He tilted his head to the side, inquisitively, his voice soft and guileless, “So…when do we get to play with you?”
Darren nearly choked. Ignoring Daniel’s snickers, he stuttered, trying not to look Hiro directly in the eyes, “Uh…now…I’ll sing I mean…with you …all of you…now, yeah.”
Daniel finally took pity on him and amended, “Actually, let’s make that in a little while. I want everything to be right on before I throw our star attraction in.”
He then proceeded to turn into Daniel the ringmaster as he began shouting instructions to the small stage crew and the backing band members. He waved at Darren to head backstage and warm his voice up a bit.
“I’ll meet you there in a few,” were his last words before he was off again arranging equipment and starting the sound check.
Darren wandered to the backstage area and found a relatively quiet alcove away from the noise of the main stage. He went through his basic vocal warm up almost on auto-pilot, his mind torn between how good Daniel looked in his frazzled, focused musician persona and how intriguing and, yes, attractive Hiro was with his sensual yet fierce aura.
But of course, he knew who would win.
His head filled with the image of the caramel coloured shirt, unbuttoned at the top and at the bottom, which was as a result barely staying together. The once tidy and now extremely tousled hair that just begged for fingers to curl through and caress the waves. Darren’s eyes glazed over and his voice faded.
Suddenly a voice whispered mischievously in his ear, “Hiro’s a bit attractive, isn’t he?”
Darren nearly jumped out of his skin. He whirled around to glare at the source of his mental images.
“Just a bit, yeah,” he replied sarcastically, crossing his arms in the age-old defensive pose.
Daniel smirked and perched himself on some wooden, portable stairs. “Yeah, see? I’m starting to suss you, Darren. Not quite picky, are you.”
Darren was seriously starting to lose control of his emotions. His moment of weakness in indulging the fantasies had left him rather frustrated, particularly since Daniel’s barely buttoned up shirt was no longer buttoned.
“What is your problem, Daniel?” His hands were now clenched on the edge of the stair that Daniel sat on. Darren leaned on them, even as he turned his head to glower at Daniel properly.
“I don’t have a problem, mate. What are you on about?”
“Why are you always making these…these bloody…references!”
Darren was sputtering slightly in his annoyance, which only served to amuse Daniel further. He leaned down so that his face was barely an inch from Darren’s.
“Oh, do you mean the…sexual…ones?”
“Yes!” Darren snarled and stepped away from Daniel to regain his personal space. His eyes were sparking, and his brow was lowered in the typical Darren-tantrum expression.
Daniel leaned back on his hands in a casual manner, his expression light and teasing. He reminded Darren for all the world of Puck surveying with glee the product of his mischief.
“I honestly don’t know why, Darren. That’s probably why I’m enjoying it so much. It’s a bit liberating. Watching you fall victim to attractions I won’t ever have to worry about.” He started laughing.
Darren saw red. He leapt up onto Daniel’s perch in a single bound and before Daniel could take a breath, he had the guitarist by the two halves of his shirt lapel.
“Darren! I’m just joking around! Calm.” Daniel’s laughter disappeared, but his eyes still held his good humour along with a pleading for sanity. The singer took a breath, then finally let him go.
“It’s not funny, Daniel.” Darren remained where he was, towering over Daniel’s seated form.
“I’m sorry. Come on, grump, I’ll stop pestering you on your sexuality. Really, I was just curious.” Darren found his resolve to stay angry melting at his band mate’s cajoling grin. That is until Daniel grabbed a hold of the bottom of his shirt and yanked him down.
The end result: Darren sprawled in an ungainly fashion practically on top of Daniel, who had a strangely satisfied, yet still teasing smile on his face.
“Besides…I guess I thought it was kind of flattering that you’re attracted to me—”
Darren’s eyes widened and he shouted in disbelief, “What?!”
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