A Loving Lust
chapters 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Chapter 7
Daniel drove the carefree yet oddly cynical guitarist to the garage where his slick motorcycle was being juiced up. Hiro loved working on motorcycles, but of late hadn’t had time. Unfortunately, the bike wasn’t ready yet; they’d had some strange liquid leakage.Shrugging, Daniel offered Hiro a ride home, which the 21-year old easily accepted. Upon arriving at their destination, Daniel ushered in a mock-tough manner, “Go on, get outta here, kid. I’ll call you for our next rehearsal date.”
He ruffled Hiro’s precious hair, resulting in a smirk and a quick ruffling of the hair from the younger man. “See ya, gramps.” He was gone before Daniel could retaliate. He muttered under his breath as he put the car in drive and squealed his tires as he sped off down the road.
Remembering to stop by a video store, Daniel finally headed for his main destination. He was nervous, but at the same time quite determined to see this through. He pulled into the driveway behind a familiar looking building. Upon parking, he got out and let his eyes wander over the structure. It looked quite impressive and had an aura of darkness even in daylight.
Wiping his palms on his cargos, he resisted the urge to run his fingers through his hair as he went up to what looked like a barred back entrance. Knocking on it, Daniel glanced around edgily, paranoia lending strength to the knocks. After a few moments, he heard footsteps from inside and the door groaned open.
Daniel held his breath for a second, then exhaled and reminded quietly, “I need to talk to you.”
There was a moment’s delay, before Nikolai smiled slowly, the aura of a wolf being handed his prey resonating from him. His voice was deep and languorous, as if he’d been bathing his vocal chords in molasses, “So let’s talk. Please.” He stood back gracefully to let Daniel pass.
Clenching his jaw and taking another deep breath, Daniel handed Nikolai the tape he’d brought, and strode past him. He heard the door softly click behind him, but his gaze was caught unexpectedly by the style and subtle grandeur of Nikolai’s pad. Despite the homely and run down look of the door at the back, the club owner had turned the former south wing of the building into a velvety 2-story apartment.
Dark blues dominated, with flashes of beige or blonde weaved in as a constant reminder of the master of this realm. Daniel twisted his mouth with reluctant admiration as he gave his host a knowing look, “It’s beautiful but a bit…hungry. Like you, I suppose.”
Nikolai grinned and waved him towards the living area, accepting the suggested compliment silently. He tapped the videotape with a finger after laying it down on a dark glass coffee table, the action gaining Daniel’s gaze. Ensnaring it then with his own marble-like violet eyes, he began closing in on Daniel’s hastily made choice of location; standing in front of one of the velvety couches.
His pupils widening in suspense with every step Nikolai took, he opened his mouth to say something, anything, to stop the other man’s advance, but no words came out. Finally, with some part of him surrendering entirely to whatever Fate, and this otherworldly man, had in store, Daniel gave up attempted speech and simply stared at Nikolai’s smirking mouth as it stopped just an inch from his.
Nikolai slowly reached up…and gently shoved Daniel’s chest enough to result in his collapsing on the couch. Trying not to laugh outright at the guitarist’s astounded expression, the club owner settled for yet another frustratingly lazy smile, “Do you want anything to drink?” Out of pity, he exited Daniel’s personal space and strode to his bar.
“Not yet.” Daniel’s response was loaded with dark humour. “Can we just—?” Nikolai paused en route to the bar. Shrugging indifferently, he made his way back.
“Let’s get right to it then.” His eyes glinted with a promise as he perched on the arm of the couch. No, not perched. That implied a discomfort. Nikolai was as relaxed on that chair arm as he was lounging on a plush mattress, his molecules seemingly bonding with everything. And yet, there was a dangerous air about him that said he could pounce faster than Daniel could even stand up to escape.
Daniel’s nostrils flared as he realized that the mattress metaphor had put images of Nikolai in his head that he’d rather not see. His expression twisting, he ground his teeth, then replied, “Any time now would be nice…”
The blonde Russian-Australian laughed slightly, mockingly. Without moving what appeared to be his comfortably resting body, he reached over and ran the tips of his fingers through Daniel’s hair, sending shivers through him.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
Daniel’s eyes widened, a bit of sarcasm lending some courage, “What, are you chickening out? Yes, I want to do this…but you’ll stop if I…when I ask.”
Nikolai’s face was impassive now, his blonde beauty cold and intimidating as he contemplated Daniel’s proposal. Then on almost a threatening yet seductive purr, “Alright. But you have to do everything I say without hesitation until then.”
Daniel wavered, then nodded brusquely. He was reminded of a movie line, a promise made by a hunter to his victim, ‘No pain...'’ Just before death. He nearly smirked until he realized that Nikolai had stealthily moved off his perch to lounge beside him. Waiting was never his style either.
~*~*~*~*~ Murmured vulgarities. Moans, ever present low, masculine moans. The whisper of clothes being removed, of silken sheets, of even the friction of skin against skin. Everything that was a cliché and yet still had the power to drive lust through the blood streams.
Daniel couldn’t focus, he couldn’t see, he didn’t want to see. He shifted slightly trying to get more comfortable, but awareness prevented it. Awareness of Nikolai. His eyes glazed over slightly, unfocused like his mind.
He felt Nikolai lean close by his ear and, in a whisper, ask, “What are you feeling? Tell me.” The other man’s lips brushed the earlobe ever so slightly.
Daniel yawned. “Nothing.” He sighed and gave Nikolai an unimpressed look. “Absolutely nothing, and to be honest it’s a bit repetitive, isn’t it?”
Trying not to show his mirth at Daniel’s impatience, Nikolai shrugged and responded, gamely, “Ah, it’s not to everyone’s taste. But it shows you have good taste at least. Progress!”
He was rewarded with an intense green-eyed glare, propelling him with a mock sigh to turn off the VCR. Nikolai pretended to tick off things that hadn’t ‘worked’ on his fingers, “Hmm, no magazines, no videos, no fiction…that leaves…mmm….”
Daniel was fed up. With a noise of disgust, he stood up and made to leave, offering snidely, “Listen, while this has been quite educational, it’s not quite what I was looking for…so I’ll show myself ou—”
He stopped abruptly when Nikolai almost casually reached over and clasped his hand. Daniel went to impatiently ask what he was doing when he caught sight of the almost diffident yet intense expression on his host’s face. He looked down again at their hands clasped together.
“What were you looking for, Daniel?”
Ohh ok, mate, this is a bit too much! Daniel’s internal alarm bells were resounding in his head as he stared helplessly at Nikolai’s sensual expression.
As if sensing his sudden doubts, the Russian stretched his lean effeminate form and lay his full length on the plush couch. Lounging like a cat, he tipped his head back, his exposed neck giving the outward appearance of vulnerability.
“I…I guess I was just…I just wanted to see…m’ mates think I’m…” Coherent, Daniel!
Nikolai slowly reeled the guitarist in by the hand. “You wanted something more…hands on, hmm?”
~*~*~*~*~ Daniel felt like an idiot, just gaping at a fully clothed man. True, he was presented on a couch covered in velvet. Yes, he was lying there in a way that was lazy and male, yet strangely alluring. Alright, he was dressed in black which contrasted incredibly with the sand blonde hair: black button down (slightly open at the collar) and black casuals.
Uh…when did he start looking at me like that…?
Just as the flight instincts were about to kick in again: “Hands on, Daniel…your call.” Nikolai surprisingly let his hand go.
Unsure of what to do Daniel stared at Nikolai’s now shimmering blue eyes…God can’t they stay one colour… before glancing almost unwillingly at the older man’s shirt collar.
Getting up the courage, he took both of Nikolai’s hands and pulled him to his feet. Not daring a glance at the other man’s face, he ran the tips of his fingers over the buttons. Then slowly, ever so slowly, he undid each button. When the shirt fluttered gently open, he felt almost proud.
His blood pounding in his ears with his uneasiness, Daniel looked up like a child wanting accolades on something he’d done well. He was met with gently amused features.
“My turn?” Nikolai murmured, then slowly unbuttoned Daniel’s shirt, though with little effort. It didn’t seem to much like staying closed. Still, he stopped when the task was one.
Daniel bit his lip, his eyes sparkling a bit at the ‘your turn, my turn’ game they were playing. He was starting to feel a bit antsy, the mischief in him wanting an outlet again. He leaned forward and before he could change his mind, ran the tip of his tongue along Nikolai’s collar bone.
At the sudden intake of breath from his opponent of sorts, Daniel smiled impishly and pushed aside Nikolai’s shirt. Gripping him at the hips with both hands, Daniel dipped his head and like a cat licked all about the other man’s smooth chest. Just as his mouth closed over a nipple, his head was yanked back by a hand at the nape of his neck.
Nikolai was breathing a bit more deeply, and his eyes were glowing it seemed. “Not too fast, mate. For your own sake.” Daniel at first didn’t comprehend, until Nikolai’s head dipped in turn. Holding his breath he watched as the club owner’s tongue slipped out and ran up his own smooth chest.
Nothing.
Daniel tensed as he felt the tongue perusing about his nipples. But still…nothing! The guitarist’s eyes widened at this thought. The idea that despite all this skirting and dancing around each other, that perhaps any attraction to Nikolai was just mentally invoked …it was insane! And a complete relief!
Just then, Nikolai’s mouth closed over a nipple. Daniel inadvertently closed his eyes at the sensation, and suddenly it was a whole new sensation. Swirls of images filled his head, but none he could identify. He wanted…wanted something…he just wanted.
He felt Nikolai’s heated mouth slide up, closer to that sensitive region of his neck, and he groaned low just thinking about it. Daniel’s grip had grown tighter about Nikolai’s torso and he was pressing them closer together, although the Russian valiantly seemed to be resisting. At the groan, he pulled away altogether.
After both of them had taken a few deep breaths this time, Nikolai gave him a look that would wrap a flower petal around his finger on its own accord. “There’s promise in you, mate.”
Daniel rubbed the back of his head in a shy flattered manner, before recalling that he didn’t want there to be any promise in him! Frowning, he inquired, “So is the verdict in yet?”
“Not quite yet. Let me ask you something…is there anything you want to do with me? Or to me?”
“You mean other than knock the daylights out of you for messing with my head?” Daniel joked, but it was with an uncertain tone. He knew what Nikolai was asking, and at the other man’s pointed look, he nodded slowly.
Not trusting himself to voice it properly (or without embarrassing himself), he slowly closed the distance between them again. Reaching up, he tenderly trailed his fingers through Nikolai’s beautiful hair. Each wave, each tendril, each wild strand falling into his eyes. The other man closed his eyes at the feathery touches.
When he saw this, Daniel finally leaned forward and leisurely took Nikolai’s left earlobe, complete with the small bead earring, into his mouth. Not expecting this at all, Nikolai brought a swift hand up to brace against Daniel’s bare chest. He gasped, writhed, then trembling slightly pulled Daniel flush against his body.
And buried his face into the arch of Daniel’s neck to land soft kisses on it.
Now it was the guitarist’s turn to gasp, and he did so, releasing Nikolai’s earlobe. They both stood quivering for what seemed like a lifetime, but must’ve been only a few seconds before pulling away in a snatching fashion.
“Well…” Nikolai’s voice was shaky still, “Now that we’ve figured out each other’s weaknesses…”
Daniel laughed weakly in response.
And the two just stared at one another.
Finally, Daniel broke the silence with the first thing he could think of: “Can I kiss you?”
Nikolai’s pupils dilated and a slightly amused look crossed his face, “So once really is never enough.”
Daniel frowned then realizing what Nikolai meant, he shook his head sheepishly, “No that’s not it. Actually, I just…I’m curious. I’ve only ever …my uh gay friend…he thinks you’re just out to take advantage, but I don’t think you are…and besides, I—”
Nikolai’s open mouth cut off the guitarist’s inane babble.
Damnit, could he at least try to move at speeds that I can follow?!
Closing his eyes again, Daniel kissed back. It was a sweet kiss, unaffected, no strings attached. No consequences. Suddenly Daniel’s eyes flew open and he tore his head away. Gasping, he gave Nikolai a partially apologetic, partially miserable look.
“I’m sorry…there’s just something that I remembered…someone else …” Daniel purposefully halted, regrouped his thoughts, and explained firmly, “Could you just put a bit more passion into it? I don’t need nice.”
Nikolai smiled wolfishly, and Daniel suddenly wondered if he’d just made a huge error. Too late though to change his mind, as the other man swooped down and reclaimed his lips. Their tongues tangled heatedly, their breath became a common one, mingled with each of their own sweet flavours. Their hands ran roughshod over each other’s half-bared bodies.
Then abruptly, Nikolai hesitated, breaking the kiss just slightly. Daniel opened his eyes, and just as he did Nikolai moved in to resume it. Daniel inadvertently recoiled at first, then held still and his eyelids began fluttering shut again.
And in that moment, his arms were empty. His eyes flying open, he gave the Russian a questioning look, pure confusion in his stance. Nikolai simply gave him a regretful half-smile as he restored his casually clothed appearance. He even reached over and redid Daniel’s shirt before sighing again with a strange remorse.
“What are you doing?!”
Nikolai wandered over to the bar for a stiff drink, and as he did so, he grumbled over his shoulder in reply, “You’re in love, mate.”
~*~*~*~*~ Daniel drove around a bit aimlessly after departing from Nikolai’s flat. True to form, he cleared his mind of everything that had happened and just tried to focus on the important events that would be occurring in the next couple weeks. Within a few days, the small break the band was on would be over. Then after a week of more localized promotion, the band would have their first real gig since they’d come back together. It was only a radio promotion type acoustic set, but Daniel was excited at the prospects of it.
“You’re in love, mate.”
“Where the hell is that coming from?!” Daniel sputtered, almost at a loss. Despite knowing that Nikolai was right.
Nikolai poured himself a drink and tossed it down. His velvety gaze was impenetrable. “It’s obvious. You close your eyes. You see the one you want. Don’t pretend you didn’t know how you felt before you came here.”
Daniel went to argue, but halted when he saw that Nikolai was quite serious. He inhaled and in an agitated manner, countered, “Even if you’re right, that’s not why I came here.”
Nikolai suddenly smirked and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “Why you came here…to find out if you’re gay…somehow I don’t think that was a question in your mind.”
Daniel was starting to get a bit pissed off. “Why do you always have to skirt the issue?”
The blonde Russian lit up and long-sufferingly acquiesced, “Oh alright. The answer to your profound question…is no.”
Daniel released the breath he had been holding. It’s true that hadn’t been much of an issue, but still he had wanted to be sure. And Nikolai would have known as much as anyone really.
“But then…” Nikolai casually added with an amused glint in his eye, “I could have told you that on the phone.”
Daniel shook his head and tried to focus on what he had to do to prepare the band. After a few moments of wracking his brain, he realized that really everyone was as prepared as they could be. The only potential area to work on was to make sure Darren and the singers gelled.
Daniel hit the brakes hard, causing a car behind him to swerve and go whizzing by with a loud honk. Darren. Shit. Daniel leaned on the steering wheel slightly as he realized that he’d left Darren at the venue…without a way of getting home. Oh, sure, someone in the band probably offered him a ride, but Daniel knew he was in for it for abandoning the singer. Particularly if Darren found out where he’d gone.
“You could have told me…well why the fuck didn’t you?!” Daniel spread his arms in an agitated expression of disbelief.
Nikolai inhaled deeply then blew out a sensual haze of smoke. He leaned back against the wall and shrugged, “You wanted a show…I gave you one.”
Daniel opened his mouth to vehemently deny this, but he realized that really, Nikolai was right. Making a face, he fell silent, a question being weighed in his mind.
The other man just looked on at him with a laughing expression, before finally breaking the silence, “You can love someone without lusting after them, it’s not as uncommon as you think.”
The blonde guitarist gave the Russian a startled look. But he was starting to get used to Nikolai’s uncanny ability to read him, and he simply asked with a tormented look in his eyes, “Is it really love then? What if she needs passion?”
Nikolai’s low laugh sent a strange shiver down Daniel’s back. The man was seriously not the best person to be sharing his innermost feelings with!
Daniel started out of his reverie at the sound of a tapping on the window. A woman peered in with a growing recognition in her eyes. He quickly smiled and with a shouted apology and explanation that he was fine, he swiftly put the car in drive and took off. The last thing he needed was to deal with fans. Deciding there was nothing he could do really, he finally started heading home. His mind however remained elsewhere.
“Then you’re in a bit of a mess, aren’t you. I’m not a bloody oracle, Daniel. I can’t answer all your questions.”
Nikolai suddenly pushed off the wall and in a dismissive manner changed the subject, “Want one?” He gestured with the cigarette pack in his hand.
Daniel frowned at the lack of a proper answer, but considered that perhaps he should be trying to find his own answers. With a bemused expression, he shook his head and responded, distractedly, “I thought you were trying to quit?”
The other man gave him a steady and yet intense look. In a completely sober tone, he pointed out, “It’s either one addiction…” He casually ground the fag out in a nearby ashtray, then gazed at Daniel expressionlessly as he finished, “Or the other.”
The room suddenly seemed to get a bit too hot and uncomfortable for the guitarist. He nervously ran his fingers through his hair, and in his characteristically antsy, pre-flight mode, made some excuse about having to be some place.
“Thanks for all your uh…help…” Daniel scrambled for his car keys in his pocket, and accidentally pulled out his wallet, which subsequently landed with a flop on the ground. Muttering an epithet, he leaned down and picked it up quickly, then gave a quick flash of a smile.
Nikolai simply gave him a calm look, but Daniel wasn’t fooled. Beneath that benign expression, he knew that Nikolai was a predator of sorts. Daniel got out of there as quickly as possible, though Nikolai had yet to respond to his thanks.
Unseen by Daniel, Nikolai leisurely wandered over to where Daniel’s guitar pick had fallen from his wallet. Rubbing it between his forefinger and thumb, he smiled in a mocking, secretive way and strode back into his kitchen. Picking up a flyer, he dialed a phone number on it and began making arrangements with the overly perky voice on the other end. As he spoke, he set the flyer down and traced patterns with the tip of his finger across the picture of Daniel’s face, before making an invisible underline below the headline… ‘Savage Garden reunites at Rumba!’
~*~*~*~*~ Daniel slowly approached his front door. It was fairly late, it had already been dark when he’d left Nikolai’s place. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked the door and headed in, his car alarm clicking on with a high-pitched beep.
The house was dark. Daniel fumbled around for a moment then found the low-wattage lamp by the door. He turned it on and a soft glow filled part of the room. It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the change in lighting. When they did, he suddenly felt a lump stick in his throat.
There lay Darren fast asleep on the couch. He had obviously been waiting up for his band mate, before exhaustion had claimed him. Daniel saw in his mind thousands of similar images from memories of long past moments. He hesitantly drew near his sleeping friend and contemplated if he could move him to bed without waking him.
Shrugging and figuring either way he’d be in trouble, Daniel gently nudged a hand under Darren and attempted to prop him up. Darren didn’t wake, however he did mumble incoherently and at the guitarist’s maneuvering, wrapped his arms around Daniel’s neck.
Grunting from the effort, Daniel turned in the singer’s loose grasp and pulled him onto his back. Holding on tightly to Darren’s arms near his neck, he carried his not-so-light band mate piggyback style slowly towards the main hallway. Just as he was about half way to Darren’s bedroom, Daniel suddenly found two rather strong legs pressed about his hips.
He froze. Darren mumbled some more in his sleep, and buried his face almost affectionately against the side of the younger man’s neck. Shivering at the contact with such a sensitive area, Daniel held his breath, willing Darren to stop. Finally, the caramel blond man settled down again, though thanks to the peculiar events of the day, Daniel couldn’t help but notice that Darren’s body was pressed quite closely and warmly against his.
Daniel continued his journey towards Darren’s room, and he had just entered it and neared the unmade bed when once again his friend threw him for a loop. This time however it was decidedly more discomfiting. Darren shifted and thrust his hands down the inside of Daniel’s shirt, seeking the warmth of the guitarist’s smooth chest and causing him to bite his lip in his effort to keep steady on his feet. Stroking the silken flesh with his palms, Darren moaned slightly and pressed harder against Daniel’s back, allowing the guitarist to feel a much more explicit heat.
Daniel couldn’t help it, he blushed slightly and although his first inclination was to just toss Darren on the bed and get out of there, he very gently transferred his burden to the soft down bed. Or he would have…except that Darren’s grip suddenly seemed to be much stronger. Daniel made a muted noise of laughing disbelief and swung around to drop Darren this time. Instead, he lost his balance and ended up partially on top of the singer, with the older man clutching at him about the neck like a child would a stuffed toy.
Wriggling around in his effort to slide out from under Darren’s hold, Daniel twisted and was allowed to face Darren, when abruptly he found himself trapped partially on the bed by one of the strong legs of earlier. Making a frustrated noise, he stared down at Darren’s peaceful expression from his vantage point about 2 inches away. A part of him was starting to feel suspicious that Darren would genuinely sleep through all of this.
Before he could question it further, Darren pulled him closer and kissed the hollow at his collarbone. Freezing, Daniel’s eyes widened as again he felt a soft, feathered kiss, this time lower on his chest. He pulled back as far as Darren’s strong arms would allow and still, the singer appeared fast asleep. Darren gave a low sexy rumble as he rubbed against the guitarist, actually drawing a whispered curse. Darren’s hands were caressing him everywhere within their reach, and Daniel was suddenly finding it increasingly awkward.
He was starting to panic as Darren made his way back up to his neck with more of his tiny, sweet kisses. Daniel gasped loudly when he felt a kiss land just under his jaw, accompanied by a slight lick. This was getting out of hand! But if he woke Darren now…
Daniel’s expression set with determination. He leaned in completely, instead of fighting Darren’s hold. He turned his head inwards, his jaw brushing Darren’s slightly stubbly cheek. He lay still, his body throbbing slightly as the silence grew so loud, he could hear and feel his own blood pulsing and he could feel the warmth emanating from Darren’s body as it mingled with his own body heat. Then with an unexpected swiftness, he simply slid out from under Darren’s grip and stood up.
He released a breath of relief at the fact that Darren hadn’t woken, and carefully pulled the covers over the singer. Lingering for a moment, Daniel stared down at his band mate thoughtfully before smiling with a fondness. Before he could change his mind, he let his fingers stroke through Darren’s already tousled hair then down the side of his face, feathering his lips before they relinquished their contact entirely.
At the touch, Darren sighed in response and murmured something that Daniel inhaled sharply at. Darren moaned slightly then in a low but audible whisper, he repeated again this time loud enough that Daniel knew he hadn’t misheard, “Hiro…”
Snatching his hand back as if Darren had the plague, the younger man swallowed with a sudden discomfort as he realized the implications of that one word. His eyes flickering over Darren nervously, he made sure the singer was asleep one last time before he made his way to his room, gently closing the door behind him.
Darren’s eyes glittered with a self-deprecating mirth in the dark room as he stared at nothing for a while. His fingers reached up and touched his lips where Daniel’s fingertips had been not too long ago. When he heard all the muffled noises from Daniel’s room eventually cease, his eyelids gradually closed and he half smiled as he fell asleep.
~*~ To Be Continued…~*~